Can a Mom pay for a cell and not for her child?, Could you sell your child, Dead beat Moms, do some people just love themselves?, for $100 a month, Grandmother bias, How can parents not care?, how can someone love one more, More Dead Beat Moms today?, No more family ties, No more mother's love?, Why do grownups hurt children?, why love one more than another
‘The world breaks people; afterward a few remain broken, the rest become stronger in the broken places’.
Luke 18:16 ‘But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is thekingdom ofGod’.
‘When life beats you down, keep getting back up, smiling because that shows that life and the devil haven’t taken your courage.’
I really hate to be negative but this issue has me quite torn up. What does it take for a mother (not a step-parent) to forsake his/her second -born child? What kind of person does it take to get rid of a child, a 7 year-old beautiful, blessing from God, child? An economical disaster of epic proportions? Maybe huge medical bills that run into the 100’s of thousands of dollars? Bankruptcy? None of these!! Just $100 a month in child support.
Could it be she’s of the demon-possessed, evil, wicked, selfish kind? Or is there more to this story that unfolded about one week ago; or less? Actually there is more to it, but not ‘more money’-wise. And we may not know all and certainly don’t understand. The mother of this child, and my step-daughter, has signed away all her rights as a parent to save THE $100 a month she pays in child support. That’s right; you read this right, the mother has tossed this/ her (now)ex-child to the gutter, kicked her to the curb, to save the $100 a month she was paying us in child support. And that amount won’t pay the day-care that we pay for this precious 7 year old. And a sweeter child you cannot find, I might add.
To top it all off, her 2ND and current husband is a preacher. Yes, a preacher that pretty much allows his precious one to do anything she cares to do. A preacher who works 2 jobs so they can have a decent home. Will this $100 they will save, help them out financially? Think about it. $3 a day, that’s it.
Some people; lots of people make their kids their Realigion. They worship them as idols. The ground they walk on is sacred to one or both of the parents. These children can do no wrong. If anything gets out of whack; at school, etc., then it must be the teacher’s fault or maybe the principal’s, but not the child’s. All of us know parents like these. They will fight the world over their (they think) perfect little ones. This is extreme, the other way; the parents here don’t usually discipline their kids at all and things seem to be fine until the child grows up and many times forsake the parents that have spoiled them to death. This turns out to be literal in many cases. Not so with this case in point. The extreme here goes the other way and the kids are just bragging rights, nothing more.
When God (Yahuah, YahWeh) gets done with them for committing this travesty, they’ll be lucky (yes lucky, because they won’t be blessed anymore) to be able to buy an extra Pepsi or Coke. I thought I knew this man-of God, her husband, to be a good man but I have lost what respect I had for him. Of course, he and she have two that they have brought into the world and she has a 9 year-old that’s a full-blooded sister to the one she threw away last week. I know that step-parents, in many cases, aren’t as good to the step-children as they are to their own blood children; at least that’s what I’ve seen happen in my lifetime. But, I thought her NEW husband, our son-in-law, was different than the well-known, stereo-typed step-father who beat the proverbial red-headed step child every chance he had.
When my children were small, I was paying out half of what I brought home in child support. I also got them every other week-end and spent time and more money on them. We had some good times together- fishing at the lake, going to the beach for a week, once a year. I looked at the child support as a necessary evil that I was going to have to rise above, and I did. I would have never, NEVER have signed away my children, although there’s one that I have had second thoughts on that, given a bit of hind-sight. As a matter of fact, my step-daughter’s dad and grandmother tried to pressure us/ my wife, the step-daughter’s mother into signing her rights away when she was young, but I had a hissy-fit, telling her that would be a decision that she would live to regret. I, having been a part of this step-parent bias thing while growing up, swore that I would do my best to treat a step-child of mine as good as my own, if I ever had any; and I did. My step-daughter was with us, her mom and me, every week-end, along with her little sister whom we had all the time. Plus, she almost always went along on vacation with us and had a ball with her sister and step-siblings, five in all.
For over 6 years my wife and I had these two girls, since the younger one was just under a year old. How we got them was that we had received a call from the children’s aunt telling us that the two very young little girls were playing in the yard of a well-known crack-house, while their parents- my step-daughter and her husband were partying like it was 1999 and paying the kids no attention. The baby didn’t even have an extra diaper when we went and picked them up. I should have known then that the children were last on the parents’ (Momma’s too) list of preferred things to be seeing about. The courts gave us full custody, legal and physical, while the parents were doing their thing. Then the parents would wan to get these children and take them to the Medicare office to get their help. We refused and that was the start of a long battle with the parents, especially the father, who was (and still is, as far as I know) a drugged-out, thief and thug. The mother got straightened out and joined the Army. But the Army doesn’t make them better people or parents. Just soldiers, good soldiers (no disrespect intended to our military). I have seen the older child snuggle up to her mom when she came home on leave, but the mom (my step-daughter) would tell her to move over; all she cared about was texting, talking by phone to or emailing her boyfriend. This child was begging for love from her mom, which she didn’t receive.
The older child only wanted to be with her Mom, even tho Mom didn’t show her any affection and this became a major problem for us. Her behavior became intolerable. Nothing would do but for her to go live with Mom. So…, after Mom got married again, having another child and pregnant with another, she allowed her first-born to go live with them to help with the two smaller children, when they settled in Kansas. That was over a year and a half ago and soon after, we allowed this child’s part of the child support to be dropped. AND last year, they got mad with us because we would not make the younger 6-year old sister (the one we still have) go with them toKansas. Maybe that had something to do with it, but they held no grudges or harbored no ill feelings, as far as we knew. Now, the Mom’s grandmother was another story. It seems that the paternal side of that family has always had their favorites. The grandmother of my step-daughter who had had a loving relationship with the younger child, no longer called to talk to her, or to invite this child over, even though she lives about 5 miles from us. She had alienated this child who didn’t understand why her MeMa didn’t ask her over anymore. MeMa never picked up the phone to ask how her great grand-child was anymore. As far as the grandmother goes, the sun rises and sets on my step-daughter and she can do no wrong. I’m saying that EVEN if she killed one or more of the kids- like Susan Smith; her grandmother would completely understand and not hold it against her. Now, this grandmother must be part of the problem, but she and the step-daughter only see it as a solution to a child that does them no good.
I wonder what do they plan to do when they realize we still have full rights to the sister that went toKansasto be with her Mom, but wanted to stay home with us last year when they visited. But that was not to be, her first-born was helping take care of the 2 babies. When the Child Support Agency renews the contract, we don’t plan to interfere when they decide that the step-daughter owes child support on the first-born daughter. Will she sell this child out too? Why wouldn’t she? Has the Mom, my step-daughter not figured out that when she signed away the child; she also signed away us as her family.
Needless to say, my wife is mad enough to spit. She does not understand how her daughter could treat this child we have, of hers, as if she were property to sell off like in a garage sale. This little, sweet, good-hearted child is not a horse that you sell to cut expenses. But that was what happened. My step-daughter would have been the woman that told Solomon to cut the baby in half. And, that wasn’t easy for me to say; it’s just the truth. I’ve never seen her show any of the four children any affection. All she cares about is herself. And if she had been in the same predicament as the Susan Smith that drowned her kids; I believe she would have done the same.
What would it take for you to write your 7 year-old daughter or son off. Could you sell her or him for $25 a week? $100 a month as she did? Think about what it would take to sell your kids off. Could you for $1,000 a month, $10,000 a month? Am I getting close? I wouldn’t/ couldn’t have sold mine for Donald Trump’s money, I don’t think. I just couldn’t have lived with myself. I truly loved my children and I enjoyed being with them every chance I got. And I couldn’t do a whole lot with them money-wise because of the almost $800 I paid in CS, but we were happy then. After 3, 4 years, they had a small TV in each of their rooms- the girls shared a room and the boys shared one.
I do have an estranged, 30 year old daughter that named her first-born, Legion, to get at me as a Christian; and she never misses a chance to try and rile the others against me, but it’s nothing but her giving her all, selling out to/for satan. She’s the prodigal daughter that may come around one day, but pinning such a handle on an innocent child- I’m just speechless. Exodus 20:12 Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
It goes to show that you can do your best by your children and that may not be enough. It’s not the same world that it was 30 or 50 years ago. In the last days, God’s Word warns- Matthew 24:12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.
Here’s the Real kicker; my step-daughter, while her husband is off in basic training this summer, still planned on coming home-here, with the rest of her accepted family while dissing the one child that deserves her love the most. I know in my heart that she would treat the child that stays with us as an outsider; and why not? She is no longer a part of her family, so why would she even attempt a relationship/ loving or otherwise with the foreign one now. She would do this- using our home as a base to come and go as she pleased, expecting us to keep the other 3 for her; and going to eat at her grandma’s, get money from her grandma, doing what she pleases while ignoring the child that has become ours. AND, she acts like she doesn’t understand our rage at how she could do such a thing. Like I said before, the grandma has shown no interest in the little one since the step-daughter and family minus one, left last summer. Well, my wife’s daughter will not come to our home and mistreat any of the children, much less the one that calls us Mom and Daddy- But, in the past, when the bio-Mom came around, then we were MeMe and PaPa. She still loves her sorry Mom and that’s why her Mom has signed us, her family off too.
We haven’t told the child; we don’t know how. The Mom can just go set her base up somewhere else, when she comes home this summer, though we hope she doesn’t come home. But if she does, and probably will, she has 2 aunts- one here and one, a hundred miles away at the beach. She can take turns staying between their houses. She may get by without paying child support for a while- the best we can figure about 6 to 9 months until they re-evaluate and they don’t go by where the child is; they’ll go by who has custody. We still have custody of the first-born, just as we do with the one that lives here. What goes around always comes around and when they settle on child support for the other child, we’ll see how long it’ll take for her to sell her other child, the first born for whatever amount it may be. Until then, we will pray that her eyes be opened to how she treats her own blood children. And to see and wonder til then, how her husband will take this new decision to dump yet one more child, in the near future, because of cs. In addition, the come around, go around part is going to happen very soon as we plan to write her off and out of our lives. We will sell out her inheritance, just as she sold away her child- lock, stock and barrel. But I want the barrel part to be pointed in her direction, at least until she, if she, learns her lesson on how to treat others, especially her own. Like my grandmother used to tell me- ‘God don’t like ugly, and you can only get by with such for so long.’